Felt like a funeral

Friday April 2, 2010. R.I.P. pink Ping.

Jessi decided to take a 'pump vacation' from her Animas Ping. Her sites were wreaking havoc on her tummy and she had had enough. She would itch them to the point of almost being infected. Neosporin didn't work, Hydrocortizone didn't work. Then then IV3000's were put down first, then the inset. That seemed to help. But it was too late. That only happened twice. Her mind was made up!

After calls to the Endo, we got set up with Novolog cartridges for the pen and Lantus and the pen. The Dr. is all for a break from the pump. In fact, he encouraged it for her. He feels that if she wanted to do this, it was a good idea. It would give her some sense of control over this disease and could very possibly help with possible rebellion issues in the future. Meaning, she might be less imposed to rebell if she felt she had a say so in her care. Ok, makes a little sense. He also felt that maybe after a few months or so, she might decide that the pump was actually better care for her, and go back to it. He's had this experience before and just recently with some patients as well.

Ok, so it all sounds good in that perspective. But, really? She'll take 4 shots or more a day over 10 site insertions in a month? Learn how to use the insulin pen for play dates at someone else's house instead of calling me and pushing some buttons for doses? Going back to that leg shot of Lantus that hurts? Yep. She would.

Now, we've welcomed back an old friend......

I don't like this friend. She leaves bruises. Makes Jessi bleed sometimes. Stings Jessi's legs nightly while injecting Lantus. She can impale unsuspecting fingertips in the middle of the night while being recapped. And she needs her life partner Novolog to be with her at all times. She's an attention hog in public. She requires her own carry pouch and room in the medicine cabinet for her box house. Not to mention she needs to be paid for in order to use her services.

BUT.......

I love her because she lets me see what she's doing as opposed to her friend the pen. She's not hurting Jessi, despite her appearance. She's instrumental in keeping Jessi alive. She reminds me that I have a working, functioning, capable brain, not to mention killer skills at drawing insulin into her under any circumstances.

So I guess this friend can stay awhile.

I do miss her advanced cousin Ping though. Oh the times we've had. The bolusing in secret. Doses through walls (yes, through the walls at school and bedroom). Not having to roll Jessi over in the middle of the night to dose in an arm or tummy. The phone calls from friends houses to guide Jes in dosing herself with the push of a few buttons. The security in not forgetting to bring along the Insulin. The freedom to have a day date for lunch with the Mr. while the nurse doses at school. (I've been told Jes doesn't want the nurse to dose her by shot, we'll see) The ability to dose Jes while driving......there's no hands free law against insulin delivery!

But, I'm whining. Whoa is me. Poor mommy. whaaaaaaa!

Whatever it takes to give my daughter a break from something that was bothering her so much her skin changed.

Whatever it takes to have Jessi gain confidence knowing she CAN make decisions about her care.

Whatever it takes to see her so incredibly happy that first night to be 'free' from the pump and to hear her brag about it to friends and the school nurses.

Whatever it takes to help her feel 'normal' while living with diabetes.

Even if it takes crying alone after that first return shot to Lantus and peeking in on pink Ping from time to time, knowing it's only a matter of time.

It's not about me. It's for her, and it's been good.