Venting

First let me clarify that I am being a big baby. Plain and simple.

Don't feel sorry for me, please. I just need to vent. Or I'm gonna explode!

I'm the type of person that has trouble saying NO. I'm actually getting better at it, according to my kids, and slowly I am backing off putting myself out there.

I'm VERY involved in Jessi's school. Mainly because I can be around in case she needs me for any diabetic reason. (Don't get me wrong.....the Health Tech and Nurse are wonderful women I trust and I hardly need to worry about Jes when she's at school.) I am the Treasurer on the PFA the last 2 years, and have been trained by a wonderful woman who has become a wonderful friend and confidant. I also was in charge of Red Ribbon Week for last 2 years and still do the Panther Paws award program for when classrooms earn points and they get prizes. I just finished helping with state testing snack distribution last week and Monday. I helped with the Fall and Spring Book Fairs and am at school probably 4 out of 5 days doing the accounting or something else. Our PFA is filled with women who go above and beyond and who actually have more on their plates than I do.....some even have a job. My problem is....

I will help out SO much that I experience burnout by the end of the year. Alot of what I do is because I don't want those kids to have a piss poor experience with the events. I chose to be treasurer again for next year.... 1. because my friend won't be around much, she has a job 2. I don't want anyone else screwing up the books (oh yes, it's been done, and not to my legacy they won't) and 3. no one else is stepping up.

I like the staff and the teachers and it really is fulfilling....but again, burnout. Did I mention that I don't have a job and this IS my job. (to me at least...please don't ask my husband....oh what a tangent he'll get on!) I never thought I'd be a PFA type mom.....but I do mix things up all the time by questioning everything and being the middle man for the parents. And I don't play that "click" crap either...I still hang with the moms and not just the board, I couldn't be that way if I tried...not me.

So needless to say...chores don't get done around here. Heaven forbid if the kids or the man actually do something around here. And to top it off, all they do is complain about it. So I've been letting things go around here.....on purpose. Seeing if they'll help. The man is...he's unloaded and loaded the dishwasher ......twice! (someone's lonely) ;) Top all that off with 8th grade Promotion happening soon, Open Houses at schools, and the end of the year craziness and the never ending "to do" list.

But I know that despite all that........the real reason I'm such a "ball of sunshine" is plain and simple.......

..... ever since Jessi went back to injections. I absolutely will do injectons for her, because that's what she wanted and if she feels good about it, then so be it. After all, I'm not living with it......she is.
But the bruises on her legs from the Lantus shots and the ones on her arms suck! We're rotating, but come on! It's just a crappy reminder. Don't even get me started on the times I jump up and remember that I forgot to give it to her before bedtime, so she gets it around 10:30ish. I mean what the heck! Where's my brain?....oh yeah....it's currently cushoning this stool I'm sitting on.

Her numbers are a little better. Her last A1C......last Tuesday.....up from 8.2. A freakin 8.8! I know, I know......but still! Dammit!

It's all good though........I absolutely agree with Wendy's post.........I know who to lean on to get through this. (but it still sucks having to deal with things)

If you made it down to this end............thanks for listening to me whine and cry like a spoiled brat! I'll be fine......I just need to sulk in Sucksville for a bit, then I'll head back home!