March 1, 2002

8 years.

Of...............

Infinite finger pokes.

6 1/2 years of shots.

1 1/2 years of an Insulin pump.

Continuous carb counting.

Sleep deprived nights.

Highs, lows and in-betweens.

A1C's hovering in the 8's.

One or two A1C's in the 7's.

Emotional and Physical rollercoaster rides.

Learning, re-learning, and re-learning again.

That photo is the youngest one I could find on disc. She's already a year and a half into diabetes.

She was diagnosed at 19 months old. Her finger check was 595. Her blood draw in the lab was 656. Her A1C was over 11. She was skinny and dehydrated and her veins blew twice while trying to start an IV in the Dr.'s office. One ambulance ride later (no sirens) we arrived at the hospital where she'd spend 3 days. 30 minutes later, and another blown vein, she had an IV in the top of her little tiny hand.

Insulin dripping to lower those blood sugars, and amazingly, her diaper rash that hung around for over a month would go away the next morning.

The steel cage called a crib that they wanted me to lay her in wasn't happening. The wonderful Endo that ordered a bed for me to be put into the room because I WASN'T leaving. We both slept in it........well, she slept........I just stared at her for an eternity through many tears and prayers and heartbreak.

The next morning choking on information after information about diabetes. 4 hours later being asked if we 'got it'. Um....sure....whatever....just show me what I need to do and let us go home.

Learning how to check blood sugars, give shots, and identify diabetes related items. Being thoroughly and utterly confused by the names of everything.

Calling family members to relay the news, sympathy pouring our way.

Trying to write a $200 or so amount check through tears that I couldn't stop while standing at that pharmacy counter looking at the mountain of supplies going home with us. Pulling myself together before getting out of the elevator so my husband and two children wouldn't freak out.

(I seriously don't think I've ever really stopped crying on the inside since)

Taking a VERY deep breath as my family walked out the door of the pediatric unit about to wing it on our own.

Today..........

I'm thankful that it was only diabetes. Other children in that hospital were dealing with much worse.

My faith is stronger, and I know God heard my plea to save my daughter when we had no clue what was wrong. I have no doubt about it. She's living proof.

I take things as they come. I may not like them, but it will be ok. I'm still learning how to do things, you'd think I've had enough practice by now! But, ya gotta live. I will do what I can and let The Lord help with the rest.

This date creeps up and I don't like it much.........but what a great reminder that Jessi's healthy.......happy........and alive. Amen!